This is based on the rumors on ABS CBN’s plan to film the Filipino remake of Twilight. I’m one of the millions opposed to the idea but hey what the heck. Presenting to you an in-depth look at Takipsilim if it ever came to reality (insert evil laugh here)

Okay first stuff translations!

Twilight has five books. If this thing leads to five books what would they sound like:

TITLES:

Twilight = Takipsilim (Powerful!)

New Moon = Bagong Buwan (Breathtaking!)

Eclipse = Eklipse? Eh? (Anybody know what eclipse is in Tagalog?)

Breaking Dawn = Pa Bukang Liwayway (don’t laugh I’m trying really hard here)

Midnight Sun = Hatingabing Araw (not making any sense?)

Second the story!

PLOT/STORY:

Knowing the knack of Filipino TV stations in making rewrites and last minute additions I won’t be surprised if Edward found out that he was related to a Piolo Pascual played character or better yet Jacob dies in the ending by catching a bullet intended for Bella. Victoria will die with a grenade on her hand (after killing Bella’s father, mother, lola, and other love ones) o.O of course

CAST:

Let’s see if everybody fits the bill here:

Bella Swan: Ok I’ll be fair if I squint Shaina might just look like Bella (cough cough) but can she act the part? I’ll leave it for you folks to decide

Edward Cullen: Rayver as Edward hmmm? Not enough star material but if the Superman theory is correct meaning an actor who isn’t typecast as a particular personality he will have an easier time fitting the role (like Christopher Reeves in Superman)

Jacob Black: No word on who Jacob is but I’m nominating Matteo Guidicelli . What? Ohhh so he’s Italian not an Indian, well could you give me an Indian looking Filipino actor? Nah thought so.

Chief Swan/Charlie: Al Tantay’s cool but I would have preferred the character acting of Joel Torre who could have seriously played a good Charlie.

Emmett Cullen: Luis Manzano! Finally! You got one right! As an additional info if you type Luis Manzano on google images the first picture to come out is that of him half naked O.o my eyes.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen: Gabby Concepcion! Alright! That’s two.

Rosalie Hale: Karylle? Are you out of your freaking heads!? Why Rosalie? Put her in as Alice instead and you got the mysterious smiling vampire o.O

For Rosalie try Christine Reyes wink wink;)

Alice Cullen: No Alice yet but like I said Karylle is a better fit here. Although a little haircut is in order.

Jasper Whitlock: if you watched the movie Jasper looks like a constipated vampire ) just kidding. Why Joross Gamboa make it Rustom Padilla hehehe he looks like the movie actor who played Jasper.

Esme Cullen: Chin Chin Guiterrez! Okay, Okay 3 out of 13 ain’t bad. I think.

Victoria: Nikki Bacolod? Ehh um you know the part where your mum tells you that if you can’t say anything nice you better shut your trap? I’m feeling that right now. Victoria’s kinda pretty you know, not cute. Pretty.

Angela Webber: Empress Schuck? (OMG I can’t spell her name hehe) the hell, Angela’s prettier than Bella? Why is that again?

EFFECTS:

In fairness Twilight special effects are relatively easy to do just add tons of red stuff, a little harness wire, and lots of pasty makeup walaaah!!!! vampires

CONCLUSION?

Will bite me Rayver ever be a reality? You tell me )

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